The Five Times I Almost Kissed Her
by shannyforever
Summary: The title really speaks for itself. Jane thinks back on the five times she almost kisses Maura.
1. Chapter 1

It has been a while since I have written a story. I thought it was time. Here's a little something that has been swirling around in my head for some time. I finally got 'pen to paper' and starting writing it down. Something to get me back into the rhythm of storytelling :-)

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The first time it happened it caught me by surprise. But I look back now and realise that maybe it wasn't such a surprise after all.

It was the day I almost lost her; the day that serial killer bastard, Dennis Rockmond, held a knife to her throat. Every detail of those minutes – those very long minutes – have stayed with me. I think they will always stay with me. The panic I felt when I realised Maura was with him… I've never felt such terror in all my life. My emotions were high, but I couldn't let them get in the way. I knew Maura needed Jane the detective, not just Jane the best friend. I needed a clear head to think things through, but my mind couldn't help but scroll through every possibility.

When we stormed the place and I saw her with him my head was a mess with fear. Fear, but also determination. I wasn't going to let him have her. I knew I had to save her, regardless of those nagging thoughts about what I would do without her; what I would do if I couldn't save her.

The nightmares I had for the weeks afterwards may have dissipated, but I will never forget the fear I saw in Maura's eyes that day. I will never forget the sound of her voice begging for him to stop; begging for me to save her. I will never forget the relief I felt when he let her go and she fell into my arms.

After all the interviews were over, and all the statements had been taken, I made my way to the morgue where I found Maura perched on the edge of her desk. She was doubting herself again. I could see it in her body language. Questioning herself about how she did not see it coming. Regardless of how many times she was told that she couldn't have known; regardless of how many people told her, Maura still hadn't forgiven herself for not realising that the man she was dating, the man she was getting to know, was a killer. Worse still that he had planned on killing her.

I made my way into her office and perched myself beside her. I heard her take in a deep breath before exhaling slowly.

"I didn't see it. I should have seen it," she whispered, almost as if she were just talking to herself – voicing the thoughts racing around in her head.

"Maura…" I began, looking down at my hands as they idly soothed the scars on my palms.

"I know, Jane. I know what you're going to say," she stressed as she pushed herself off the desk and began pacing her office. "But I was… I was in his living room, and… and he was talking about…" her voice faltered as her memory seemed to take her back to the moment.

"He was talking about… about the human form, and… and… how much pride he takes in his work," she continued as she paced and gestured wildly with her arms. "Jane I was… awed. I was in awe of him," she finished, before she turned to me defeated, arms hanging by her sides, looking to me for the answers.

"Come on, Maura," I pleaded, pushing off the desk towards her. I took her hands in mine and intertwined our fingers, hoping to bring her comfort.

"You aren't a mind reader, you know?" I reassured, seeking out her eyes that were looking anywhere but at me. "And it's just in your nature to see the best in people."

"You mean I'm naive," she murmured, dropping her head even more.

I dropped one of her hands and lifted her chin, encouraging her to look at me.

"No, Maura, not naïve," I countered, searching her eyes for any signs of understanding. "You are the most… the most warm, kind-hearted, gentle soul that I have ever known."

I cupped the side of her face, keeping her eyes locked with mine. I wanted her to see the sincerity of my words.

"In our line of duty, do you know how rare that is?" I pleaded. "I envy your naivety, if that's what you want to call it."

She searched my eyes, seemingly looking for any word of a lie. But there was no lie. Maura is rare and special. She has always been, and I know that despite our line of work – surrounded by death and murderers – she will continue to be.

Her eyes continued to search as I realised how close we were standing and how intimate our bodies were embraced. My thumb gently caressed her face, marvelling at how soft her skin was. I dropped my gaze to watch it as it passed over her cheek; watched as my fingers tucked a stray hair behind her ear. That's when I realised what I was feeling.

My heart was beating so fast and my stomach was twisting in knots. My eyes were drawn to her lips and I realised I wanted to kiss them. The shock of such a thought brought me to my senses and I lifted my eyes to hers, only to find that her eyes had shut and a single tear was running down her cheek.

I brushed it away with my thumb before pulling her into my arms, and I held her until she wanted to let go.

At the time I blamed the craziness of the day. I thought it was just a combination of relief and happiness and the aftermath of a day of heightened fear and stress that made me react the way I did.

I'm not sure what she thought happened in that moment. I'm not sure if she saw my eyes linger on her lips. She might have heard my heart racing had she not been so distraught. But that was the first time I almost kissed her.


	2. Chapter 2

Much time had passed before it happened again. So much time, in fact, that I had managed to convince myself that it never happened at all.

Ma had decided that instead of a Sunday family dinner, we would have a Sunday afternoon Barbeque instead. It was hot as hell that day. Not quite as hot as a typical Boston heat wave, but hot enough to warrant a childish water fight. Tommy started it.

Maura and I were standing in the yard discussing the flavour of the ice cold beer I was attempting to convince her to try with me. Her face was a look of uncertainty as she glanced between the bottle in her hand and my encouraging smirk. Just as she was lifting the bottle to her lips, she was splatted from behind with a giant, red water bomb, sending her stumbling into me.

"You okay?" I asked cautiously as I steadied her on her feet.

When her eyes lifted to meet my own, I saw nothing but determination. She looked down at the bottle of beer that was once on its way to her lips and was now laying on the ground, frothing at the rim as it spilled over the grass.

"Oh, it's on," she replied, and then the battle began.

I honestly don't remember having so much fun as an adult. Tommy and Frankie had teamed up, making it a 'boys vs girls' game of water bomb skirmish. I was surprised at Maura's eagerness to play something so childish – especially given the silk blouse she had on – but once we started there was no stopping her. Even a lack of water bombs did not halt this genius from playing on, turning the two single hoses into one long one and soaking the boys into surrendering.

The sound of laughter continued as we all came together to share a drink and go over the highlights of our battle. It was during an enthusiastic discussion with Frankie about who got who the most that I notice Maura had left the back yard.

I went in search of her, finding the house empty. I stepped out onto the front porch to find her facing away from the door, seemingly wiping her eyes.

"Maura?" I offered as I approached her gently. "Hey, is everything okay?"

She turned to face me with a smile and a wink. Or, I thought it was a wink, until the eye failed to open after moments passed.

"I think something went in my eye," she explained with a sigh. "Or maybe it's just irritated from all the water," she finished with her delicate fingers gently wiped her eyelid.

"Here, let me have a look," I offered, pushing her arm away gently before holding her face in my hands.

My intentions started out good. I gently pried open her eyelid to take a peak and found nothing. It was then that I started to see things differently. Her sparkling green eyes were looking back at me from mere inches away and I was drawn in by their warmth and beauty. Her golden hair was wet and stuck haphazardly to her forehead and cheeks, and her mascara had started to run around her eyes and down to the tops of her cheeks. Her lips were parted ever so slightly… invitingly…

Dejavu. I remembered feeling like this that day in her office, and I wondered if this time I would have the will to stop myself from kissing her.

I looked back up into her eyes and this time I saw questioning eyes looking right back at me. I subconsciously wiped the smudged mascara from under her eyes with my thumb, tucking her hair behind her ears in the same motion.

The moment was interrupted by a shout from Ma wondering where we were, and my hands dropped casually back to my side as Ma appeared in the doorway.

"Oh, there you two are," Ma fussed with an air of authority. "Come inside, the food is ready."

With one last look at each other and a shared smile, we filed in behind Ma towards the kitchen.

The first time could have been from the heightened stress of the day. I could have brushed it off; never thought about it again. And for a while, I didn't think about it. But when I nearly kissed her a second time, I started to wonder what it all might mean.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you all so much for all the feedback. I love to hear that my writing is enjoyed by others. It's nice to see some of you have liked my writing so much that you've gone to check out my other stories. I hope my writing is showing improvements ;-). I also love to know where my followers are from, like _denl_ from Belgium. It was a strange feeling to see just how far my words have travelled :-)

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The lead up to the third time I almost kissed Maura is a little hazy in parts. The night began at the dirty robber; Maura and I sharing a bottle of wine, and me trying to cheer her up after Jack left. While she was convinced it was the right thing, and that he needed to be with his daughter, Maura finally recognised that sometimes doing the right thing – and being a grown-up – sucks!

I spent our time in the booth directing the conversation away from Jack in a crazy attempt at taking her mind off it. In hindsight, perhaps I should have let her talk things out properly. And soberly. We finished the bottle of wine then left in a cab to my place.

The drive back to my apartment was quiet as we travelled the short distance. The laughter and lightness of the conversations we had at the Robber had ceased. We sat side by side, our thighs touching occasionally as we turned left and right. She was looking out the window, but I knew that she wasn't seeing anything. Not really. Her mind was elsewhere.

I reached over and held her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. She turned to me, offered a sombre smile, and as our eyes met, the tears started to fall from her eyes, one after the other in quick succession.

"Come here," I whispered, pulling her head to my shoulder and wrapping my arms around her.

We spent the rest of the drive home like this, and by the time we arrived it seemed her tears had dried up. She got out of the taxi before me and starting strolling up the stairs as I paid the driver. I quickly caught up to her, guiding her up the stairs with a hand on her lower back. As we passed through the front door, I slipped my hand into hers and lead her towards my apartment. I remember it feeling so natural to be holding her hand, and only now am I seeing how small things like this are much more significant than I ever realised.

I poured us both another large glass of wine before following Maura to the couch. I stood watching her for a moment, her elbows on her knees and her head propped up on her hands. She looked so small and lost.

"Ok," I started with my resolve voice as I placed our glasses on the coffee table. She looked up at me a little startled as I continued.

"The way I figure, we have three options for how the night can progress," I concluded as I sat down beside her, one leg tucked underneath me so I could face her and grab one of her hands.

"Three options?" she asked with a sniffle as she wiped her eyes with her free hand.

"Yes, three options. Option number one: We drink ourselves into a stupor, likely resulting in a night of depressing discussions about Jack. This could be a healthy option, if you feel that is something you need," I proposed as I picked up her wine glass and handed it to her.

"Option number two: We drink until we are merry," I offered with a wink and a smirk, "And we can share all of our horrible experiences with men. This could also result in a depressing discussion, however I'm hoping it might be somewhat cathartic."

She offered me a dazzling smile that I wasn't quite expecting. She turned to face me, wine glass in hand.

"Does option number three also include drinking?" she asked with a twinkle in her tear tainted eyes.

"Aaaand option number three: We drink until we don't want to drink anymore and watch silly movies and eat popcorn and have a… pseudo slumber party until we pass out from exhaustion."

"From exhaustion?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "Or from too much alcohol?"

My only response was a wicked grin as I picked up my wine glass and took a larger than normal sip. "So, what do you think?"

"I think there are probably more than three options," she stated with a smile and shake of her head. "But, I'll play along and go with option number… two."

"Option two?" I gasped, disappointedly throwing my body back into the couch. "I was really hoping for option three, but okay."

This is where things start to get a little hazy.

A bottle and a half later, I was done with my list of exes and Maura seemed as though she was only half way. But I didn't mind because the mischievous glint in her eyes was back as she disclosed information about parts of her ex boyfriends' male anatomy in much more detail than I would have liked. This resulted in me drinking much faster than I had anticipated, which, in turn, loosened my tongue more than I would have liked.

"So, hang on," I said, interrupting Maura mid-sentence as she discussed the romantic failings of another of her past boyfriends. "I'm starting to see a pattern of bad sexual encounters here. And here I was thinking that you were all about the sex and having lots of it. What, with health benefits and… all that other stuff you're always preaching to me about."

Her eyes sparkled in the low light as she giggled, leaning into me as she shoved me lightly, jokingly, in my shoulder. "Yes, I do think all those things. Even bad sex is good sex," she murmured, before sipping her wine, watching me over the rim of her glass.

"Ok, so what's the best sex you've ever had?" I asked boldly, ignoring the little angel on my shoulder telling me that this was taking the conversation even further into territory that I have always been quick to avoid.

Her eyebrows raised in surprise as she swallowed her wine. I was as surprised as she was that the question left my mouth.

"Ok, well, let's see," she began, shifting her position to get more comfortable. "The best sex I ever had was in freshman year in college with a fellow freshman."

"The best sex you've ever had was with a freshman?" I asked in surprise. "I always figured men must get better with age. Hell, I'm still waiting for men my age to perfect their performance."

She giggled again from behind her wine glass and I remember thinking that it was one of the sexiest sounds I'd ever heard. I also remember thinking that I didn't know why I was thinking that about my best friend.

"So, a freshman," I said inquisitively. "Garret?"

"Mm, goodness no," Maura replied quickly, finishing her glass of wine. "Garret was… he was good at many things, but that was not one of them," she finished, placing her glass on the coffee table.

She must have seen the confusion on my face. She must have realised, at the same time that I realised, that she'd never mentioned another man from college.

"But…" I started, the confusion on my face intensifying.

"I never said it was a male freshman," she explained.

The pause in conversation felt shorter than it actually was. The alcohol in my system had made it a little harder for me to understand what she was saying right away. But when the light bulb struck, I couldn't hold back my surprise.

"A woman?" I asked, my voice rising up a notch to an abnormally high pitch. "You're best sexual experience was with a woman?"

She simply nodded, seemingly waiting to see how I would react.

"Huh," was the only response I was able to articulate.

After a beat or two, Maura sat forward and poured herself another glass of wine.

"More wine?" she asked, holding out the bottle.

I held out my glass for a refill and Maura emptied the contents of the bottle into my wine glass,

"So," Maura sighed as she sat back in the couch. "What about you? What's the best sex you ever had?"

I looked at her for a moment, contemplating the question. I'm sure my brow furrowed as I attempted to think back through my not so good sexual encounters to one that may have stood out as the 'best'. I must have been silent for too long, because I never got the chance to answer.

"Oh, come on," she gasped with humour in her voice. "There must be at least one experience that stands out."

"Oh, many of them stand out," I replied humouredly, "But not in a good way."

And the moment was passed. I had just found out that my best friend had slept with at least one woman, and we skipped over it like it was just another piece of information. Like learning of her favourite colour, or her childhood hero.

We finished off our glass of wine before agreeing it was time to sleep. As I made myself comfortable on my side of the bed, I could hear her in the bathroom going through her routine. When she finally slipped into the bed beside me, I couldn't help but turn to face her, finding ourselves face to face with the best friend I've ever had. The best friend I had already almost kissed twice before. The best friend I was, again, thinking about kissing.

I brought my hand up between us and laid it palm down on the sheet.

"How come you never told me that you've been with a woman," I asked in hushed tones, desperate not to disturb the stillness that surrounded us.

"It never came up," she replied simply in similarly hushed tones.

I watched her face as my eyes adjusted to the low light. Her eyes were looking back at me, her mouth settling on a small smile. Her hand came up to rest beside mine, our pinkie fingers brushing ever so slightly, sending a rush of butterflies to the pit of my stomach.

I closed my eyes, waiting for the moment to pass; wondering if the moment would pass, like it did the last two times. I took in a shaky breath and exhaled slowly before opening my eyes. I was hoping to find myself looking back into those beautiful warm eyes once again, but instead found myself looking at Maura's eyelids. The small smile remained on her lips and eventually her breathing even out.

I realised in those short moments that if I had open my eyes to find her eyes upon me, I would have kissed her. I was beginning to realise that this may not be a fleeting thing. I was also starting to realise that it may not necessarily be a bad thing.

"Good night, Maura," I whispered into the darkness as I took in her sleeping face one last time before drifting off to sleep myself.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I am enjoying writing again. I am thinking of writing another story to go along side this one - "The five times she almost kissed me", from Maura's POV. I thought it would be interesting :-)

Thank you, as always, for the feedback. xoxo

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It was Christmas time before the overwhelming desire to kiss Maura presented itself again. We had finished Christmas dinner and were sitting around Maura's fireplace telling old family stories. Some stories I had heard many times, but Maura had not.

Ma appeared determined to humiliate every Rizzoli sibling by sharing our most embarrassing childhood mishaps. Admittedly, I remember not caring about what stories Maura heard about me, because the sound and sight of her laughter was enough to make it worthwhile.

We sat side by side for most of the night, our bodies naturally gravitating towards each other, hip touching hip, shoulder to shoulder. Why did we always have to share such intimate space? At some point during the evening our hands had intertwined and we sat with our glass of wine, listening to our family laugh until they cried.

Our family.

Since the moment Maura met my family they have felt like 'our' family. We share so much together; I know ma believes she has four kids, not three. The only problem I have with that analogy is that my recent feelings towards Maura would be inappropriate if we were siblings.

The day had been long and as the night went on, the yawns became plentiful.

"Okay, I think it's time we all called it a night," I proposed, taking advantage of a lull in the conversation.

"You're right, Janie. It is getting late," Ma agreed. "Let me just finish up these last few dishes."

"Ma, leave them," I insisted as I removed myself from Maura's side and rose from the couch. "I'll fix them. You've done more than enough today."

Ma looked at me with a glint of pride and uncertainty in her eyes.

"I don't mind, Jane," Ma whined as she winked at Maura and made her way to the kitchen.

Tommy and Frankie were up and gathering their things, and it wasn't long before they were headed to the door. Maura and I stood just out from the doorway watching them walk down the slippery driveway, latching onto each other with every second step.

"We really should shovel your driveway tomorrow," I murmured over Maura's shoulder, a hint of humour in my voice. "Although, tonight we've had dinner and a show," I continued, pointing at my siblings as Tommy landed on his ass, "maybe the shovelling can wait."

Maura turned to look at me, admonishing my enjoyment at watching my brother's fall over, but also trying to hide her own amusement.

"Come on, Maura. It's funny," I pleaded as Maura walked back towards the house. "It's like watching Laurel and Hardy."

Maura stopped in the doorway of her home. I looked over her shoulder at what had caught her eye and stopped her in her tracks. At first, I couldn't understand why she had stopped, but then I realised.

A beautiful, 7 foot tall, green Christmas tree, littered with the ornaments we had placed on it, sat in the corner of the room. Tears of gift wrapping and empty Christmas gift boxes were scattered across the living room floor. Empty bottles of wine and wine glasses were lined up on the coffee table. And Ma was in the kitchen, humming along to the Christmas carols coming from the sound system.

I looked at Maura's face as she looked out over her home, knowing that she did not care for the mess, but was grateful for the company that created it. I watched her eyes well up with tears as she watch my mother sway her hips to the sound of Jingle Bells while washing up, seemingly unaware of her audience.

I let my gaze roam over Maura's face; the giddy smile, her cute little nose, her expressive eyes. I felt my own tears begin to form as I realised just how much Maura had missed out on in her life. I wished, in that moment, that I could give her everything of me. All my happy childhood memories, my family, my heart and soul. That moment of realisation scared me. I lifted my head to look up in an attempt to hold in the tears, only to find a mistletoe hanging in the door jamb above our heads.

The gasp that escaped my throat caught Maura's attention and she turned to face me. When I looked back down into her eyes, they were questioning me silently and I was struck with the desire to be close to her. My eyes lingered on her lips as she looked up at the mistletoe then back at me.

The moment lingered. Will I, or won't I? Should I? Could I? And finally, why don't I?

"Maura," I whispered, willing myself to take the plunge but also holding myself back – wanting to be sure.

I felt her gentle touch as her hand found its way into mine. I wondered if I should take that as permission; as a blessing to kiss her like I so desperately wanted to.

I glanced up at the mistletoe briefly once more and heard Maura's breath hitch as I did so. When our eyes met again, I was ready.

I was ready, but apparently the world was not, as Ma took that moment to finish washing the dishes and made her way towards the door, oblivious to what was going on.

"You two have a good night," Ma said as she kissed us both on the cheek, shaking us from our trance like state. "Make sure you keep the heat on – It's supposed to get pretty cold tonight."

And then she was gone. We watched her close the back door before Maura headed to the living space to start cleaning up. A moment later, I closed the front door and went to help her.

The moment was gone but the feeling was not. We didn't speak about it, but this time I knew – Maura knew I wanted to kiss her, and maybe… just maybe… she wanted to kiss me back. That was the fourth time I almost kissed her.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: As always thank you all for the feedback.

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Since Christmas night, I had thought about little else but the moment Maura and I shared on her doorstep. I played it over and over in my head, wondering if it was my imagination that conjured up evidence of my feelings for Maura being mutual. Her hand in mine, her eyes looking at me expectantly, the mistletoe…

Part of me was regretful that I failed to act on my desires. Another part of me was grateful, because it gave me time to prepare; to make my feelings known in a special way. To prepare my thoughts, and to prepare how I was going to express my feelings.

I had decided that New Year's Eve was to be the night. I had decided that, with neither Maura nor I having a date for the BPD New Year's Eve party, I was going to be bold and kiss the girl at midnight. I realised that it may be a little cliché, but a bigger part of me thought of it as being romantic. I had planned to be standing next to Maura in that moment; I had planned to tell her that this New Year's Eve I wanted to kiss the person I wanted to share my life with. I had planned to kiss Maura at midnight, but things don't always go to plan.

I was nervous. There was still a part of me that was uncertain about the reaction I would receive, regardless of the fact that all the evidence I had gathered had indicated that a kiss, and more, would be welcomed.

I spent over half the day – yes, half a day – shopping for a new dress. I spent the other half of the day getting ready. I wanted to look nice. I wanted to impress. I wanted to make her look at me in a way that suggested that we share something more than just friendship. I wanted to attract her.

And it appeared to work.

I declined the invitation to get ready and go to the party together in the hopes of blowing her socks off when I arrived fashionably late and dressed to kill. The look on her face when I arrived and our eyes met told me that it was worth the effort. If I was not mistaken, there were eyes of lust watching me as we approached each other from opposite sides of the room. The Dirty Robber was jamb packed, but it seemed we only had eyes for each other.

"Jane, you look… wonderful," Maura exclaimed, her eyes lingering almost imperceptibly on my cleavage. "Did you buy a new dress?"

I was wearing a little mid-thigh, black number with a V neck; stylish, elegant, and accentuating the few female curves I have.

"Yes," I replied with a smile. "I bought it specially."

She looked up and flashed me with her signature grin; the one that I'm sure she stores away just for me. She has that special sparkle in her eyes, and the little dimple on her cheek. She is wearing a very sexy red halter neck dress, tight in all the right places and stopping just above her knees.

"Can I buy you a drink?" I asked, grinning mischievously and pointing towards the bar.

"Jane, the drinks are free tonight," she replied in confusion, before realising that I already knew that and was just making fun. "Oh, right. Well, lead the way, detective."

The lead up to midnight was perfect. We enjoyed each other's company, and the company of our colleagues and friends. We danced to a few songs in a circle with the gang, including Frankie and, believe it or not, Korsak. I say we danced, but in reality it was more a case of Maura dragging me up to the dance floor and me standing there swaying to the music and laughing at Korsak's attempts at refashioning Saturday Night Fever.

It was 30 minutes out from midnight when my trip to the ladies room resulted in my losing sight of Maura. I began to panic 15 minutes later when I realised that my plan was going out the window if I didn't find her, and find her fast. I checked the bathroom for the third time, and was interrupted by Ma wanting to know if I had found someone to kiss at midnight.

"Not now, Ma," I responded distractedly.

"What, Janie? I just care about you, and you know that not kissing someone at midnight leads to a year of loneliness," Ma said, following me around the bar as I continued to look for Maura.

"Look, all I'm saying is that it can't hurt, right?" Ma continued, oblivious to the fact that I wasn't really listening.

"Ma, it's just a silly superstition," I responded over my shoulder, my eyes squinting in an attempt to recognise the faces of the people standing in the dark corner of the room.

But alas, there was no Maura.

"God damn it," I sighed in frustration.

"Jane! Watch your language!" Ma admonished before noting the obvious distress on my face. "Who are you looking for?"

"Have you seen Maura?" I asked, finally turning to face her.

It was only a few minutes until midnight and I hadn't even found her, let alone had the chance to speak with her. I had planned to tell her how I felt before I just landed a kiss on her.

"Maura? Yes, she went outside to take a call," Ma said. "That was some time ago, though."

"Thanks Ma," I replied as I started pushing through the crowd towards the exit.

That's when I saw her. She pushed through the front door, her eyes scanning the crowd. When our eyes met from across the room, I felt like there was a whole conversation taking place with just a look.

I started to make my way to her just as the countdown to midnight began. The entire room full of people began counting down the seconds…

"10"

Maura just stood there, seemingly nervous about my approach, and I hoped that they were the same nerves I was feeling.

"7"

I was biting my lip in anticipation. I realised as I looked into her eyes that it wouldn't matter if we didn't talk about what felt before we kiss, because in a way, our whole friendship had been building towards this moment.

"5"

And right before I came within speaking distance of her, my view of her became blocked by some guy… I didn't know who. I didn't really care who. All I cared was that his arms were wrapping her waist and I didn't want to stay around to see his lips on hers.

"3"

I managed one last look as he began to move in for the kill before turning on my heel and walking back towards the bar.

My whole plan was ruined. But more importantly, Maura's first kiss of the New Year was going to be with someone else. Someone other than me.

I made my way through the crowd and behind the bar, ignoring Ma's questions about where I was going and what I was doing behind the bar, before making my way out the back door.

This is where I find myself now. Standing in the back alley of the Dirty Robber, thinking about all the times I've almost kissed Maura. Including this one – the fifth time I almost kissed her.

As a flash of lightening appears in the distance, cracking down over the night sky, I wonder if it would ever be the right time, or whether the world was trying to keep us apart.

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A/N: Thank you all, once again, for all the reviews and feedback. I wanted to reassure those that have been anxiously following this story, hoping that I won't leave you all disappointed with the ending, that I have every intention of polishing off this story with a happy Rizzles ending. This is not the final chapter :-)


	6. The Long Anticipated 6th Chapter

A/N: Thank you all for your patience. Life has been hectic, but I finally found some quiet time to write this next chapter. The long awaited 6th Chapter.

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I'm standing out here by myself, listening to all the cheers and laughter coming from the distant inside, wondering why I didn't just clobber the guy. He stole my moment! But I know that in a room full of police officers, that was never a viable option.

I'm having all sorts of visions of me walking back in there, all "McFly from Back to the Future" like, stealing my girl back. Or "Officer and a Gentleman" style, lifting her up in my arms and walking out as people cheer us on. So much corny stuff I can hardly believe I'm even thinking them.

But that insecure part of me still doubts whether my feelings are returned. Which is stupid; I hardly ever doubt my gut instincts, and right now my gut is telling me that Maura feels the same way about me.

Just as I'm about to storm back in there; just as I take my first step back in the direction of the Robber, I see Maura stumble slightly as she falls through the back door, looking around.

"Looking for me?" I ask.

She turns to face me and I can see worry in her eyes. Her eyes are searching mine, but for what I'm not sure. Her mouth opens and closes a few times, as if hesitant to speak the words that are piling up on the tip of her tongue.

"Your mum told me you came out here," is the sentence she finally settles on as she slowly approaches me. She glances over my shoulder, causing me to turn and look at what had caught her attention.

Black clouds are rapidly approaching and flashes of lightening are coming from within them in quick succession. I turn back to find Maura standing just a few feet away.

"You found me," I said, my voice low and gravely, uncertain.

"I did. I found you," Maura says, searching my eyes still. "I found you, and I'd rather not lose you again."

"I think I lost you first," I reply with a small smile. She looks back at me in confusion, shaking her head; her cute little brow creases in the middle.

"Ma said you took a phone call," I explain, looking around the dark alley before looking back at her. "I couldn't find you."

She tilts her head to watch me, intently, as her bottom lip finds its way between her teeth.

"Is that what we're talking about?" she asks.

It is now my turn to be slightly confused, before I realise this conversation goes much deeper than losing each other in a crowded room. I watch her face light up as another bolt of lightning flashes across the sky. I feel the temperature suddenly drop and look up into the sky as a single drop of rain falls on my nose.

"Well, whatever it is we're talking about, I suggest we talk about it inside," Maura says, taking hold of my hand and pulling me back into the store room of the Dirty Robber. I pull the door shut behind me just as the rain begins to fall in bucket loads.

"That was good timing," I sigh with a smile, wiping away the few drops of rain that managed to fall before we found shelter. I feel a soft, cold finger push a stray hair from my cheek, tucking it gently behind me ear. I look down to find Maura looking at me expectantly.

"It doesn't quite make up for Jimmy's poor timing at midnight," she sighs, her hand caressing the length of my arm before entwining with my own. I watch an array of emotions play over her face – hope, sorrow, fear, an apology – all in the few moments it takes for me to catch my breath.

"He didn't kiss me, Jane," she says, looking me right in the eye. I raise my eyebrow, questioning the statement, because I saw the guy lean in for one as I was walking away. "Well, he tried, but…"

She begins to get flustered, her eyes finding the floor very interesting, and my mind wonders to all the possible reasons for it. Her polite, yet stern, 'No thank you, I'm not interested'. A well timed face turn, leaving his sloppy kiss on her cheek.

"But?" I ask, curious about the fate of the kiss I was sure I witnessed the beginning of.

"Well, let's just say that he may have a broken nose," she replies. Her face is guilt ridden, but it quickly turns into a full dimpled smile when she looks up to find me giggling. "You taught me well, what can I say," she finishes with a nonchalant shrug before she, too, breaks out into a giggle.

I realise in this moment just how much I love the sound of her laughter. I watch as her face lights up with joy, and I realise I love this woman more than anything in the world; anything I've ever loved in this world. I wonder how it could have taken long to realise it.

Our laughter subsides and our eyes never part. They are locked together, unable to be deterred.

"Are you finally catching up, detective?" she asks with a cheeky glint in her eye. "Or are you going to back out for the sixth time."

I can only shake my head in wonder as I realise how silly I have been. Has she really been counting too? As I continue to ponder, Maura begins a count down from 10.

"10"

She takes a step closer, her eyes dropping to watch her feet as the step toe to toe with mine.

"9"

Her hands fall into mine and our fingers link together, naturally. Instinctually.

"8"

Her eyes meet mine once more, and I see all. I see everything. All those words I had planned to say before kissing her at midnight are reflected in her eyes.

"7"

"This is a painfully slow build up to something I've been waiting so long for," I sigh, willing myself to let this play out.

"6. How long?" she asks as her eyes flitter briefly to my lips before finding my eyes again.

I struggle to put an actual time frame on it, because I realise that it was probably longer than the first moment I almost kissed her.

"5"

"I think…" I start, unsure what the right answer is.

"4. You think?" she asks, slowly moving her body into mine.

"I think, maybe, always," I whisper.

"3"

Her eyes fall to my lips.

"2"

Her breath is on my lips. My eyes fall closed in anticipation.

"1" she breathes, before capturing my lips in an explosive kiss.

It does not matter that this was not the real count down; the fireworks that are going off in my heart and my belly are better than any New Year's Fireworks I've ever seen. I feel her arm wrap around my waist, pulling me closer until our bodies are flush as our lips get to know each other. Her lips, so soft and supple.

I groan slightly as I feel her pull away. I open my eyes to find her watching me with a smile.

"Happy New Year, Jane," she says, before she pulls me into her arms for a hug.

"Happy New year, Maura," I reply, smiling into her hair as I nuzzle into her neck.


End file.
